12 going on 40

In just 10 short days Jalan will be 12 years old. I can't believe it at all. I am still in denial. Time goes so fast. A friend asked me over the weekend do I want to have more kids and the answer to that is yes. Do I want to be a single mother again.. Hell No! I want to be married and have more children with my future husband. However the future is unknown and as it stands I don't have anyone beating down my door with a proposal. So it looks like Jalan like his mom will be an only child. Which is really sucky. In a way I like that it was only me growing up, but at the same time I always wanted an older brother. Someone to look out for me. Someone i could threaten bullies with, Someone to snitch on etc... That never happened and nver will considering I am over 30. As for Jalan I wish he had a sibling to look after, someone to look up to him and play with but some days I feel like you know what I can do this again and other days I'm like I must be out of my mind.. Only time will tell I have decided my cut off age for child rearing will be 35. Here comes a Hell No Moment... Now when I am 35 not old. But considering Jalan will be 17 that changes the scenario... So I guess we will just have to see. Maybe my luck will change in the not so distant future.. Before my eggs dry up....!